“Geluk is ‘n stemming, nie ‘n bestemming”
This revelation came to me while watching One Tree Hill, an American TV series (yes it’s my dirty secret – I like corny American TV teenage dramas) – God does work in mysterious ways!
I can relate to this point – I’ve generally always been a happy person, always optimistic and content with life no matter what was thrown at me. However in this past year my mood has changed. I’m not unhappy as such, just restless, but this restlessness is starting to make me frustrated which is making me unhappy.
Dr Fiks and I are ready to leave London– we are tired of the hustle and bustle of London– and the shiny fun side of London has definitely worn off.
Although we are only in our late 20’s, early 30’s… We are (well) past clubbing to 3am, preferring to cuddle up in front of the TV with a good DVD (or should I say Blue-Ray??) and a bottle of wine. We would rather have a night in with home cooked bobotie en melkpoeding then visit the new, hip restaurant that has a 3 month waiting list. And when we do go out, we like to find good coffee, and take a country walk.
For a time London has been good to us, I have a good, albeit busy and stressful job – which I will not even attempt to explain in Afrikaans as it’s hard enough for people to understand what I do when I explain it in English – Dr Fiks has been able to study, we’ve been able to travel all over the world. There is history all around us and all the new and latest things going on here whether it is fashion, food, lifestyle, beauty – you name it, it is here….
We are however ready for the quieter life, the family life, a place to call home, where we have good friends around for a braai and share our lives with a great Christian community. Somewhere with big open space and views from our window – the kind that make you fall in love with God’s creation… every day.
We’ve set our sights on reaching this ‘goal’ in a couple of years, once we have some money saved up and Dr Fiks finishes his – what seems to feel like never ending – studies. Then I tell myself I will be happy, I’ll have it all… but…
I’ve come to the realisation that this is not the case. If I am not happy now, I will not be happy then. I need to make a choice to be happy – to live my life to the full – you never know when it will end or when God will change your plans. I realise I cannot rely on my ‘goal’, my chosen destination of ‘happiness’, as it may never come.
I thank God that this epiphany has freed me from this restlessness; I have been blind and deaf to the Spirit of the Lord. My happiness is in God and as I remind myself of this every day I smile, knowing how blessed I am. Wherever God leads me I will take it on with open arms, whatever I face will not stop me rejoicing in the Lord, whoever comes to join me on my journey will be welcomed with God’s love….
Below is an amazing prayer from Paul to the Ephesians that reminds me how blessed I really am. I have left it in English as I specifically like this translation… it is full of so much passion.
Ephesians 3:14-21: How Great is Gods Love
When I think of the wisdom and scope of his plan, I fall down on my knees and pray to the Father of all the great family of God – some of them already in heaven and some down here on earth – that out of his glorious, unlimited resources he will give you the mighty inner strengthening of his Holy Spirit. And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust in him.
May your roots go down deep in to the soil of God’s marvellous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God’s children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it. And so at last you will be filled up with God himself.
Now glory be to God, who by his mighty power at work within us is able to do far more than we would ever dare to ask or dream of – infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, or hopes. May he be given glory forever and ever through endless ages because of his master plan of salvation for the Church through Jesus Christ.
Now that is something to be happy about.